Texting Your Ex: The Comfort of Hierarchy in DAOs

Anyone who has gone through a breakup knows the appeal of texting your ex.

You know you shouldn’t.

But a quick little “you up?” text is harmless, right?

## Breaking up with hierarchy

DAOs are empowering us to breakup with the old way of work (and frankly, the old way had some serious red flags). But breakups aren’t fun. They’re painful and uncomfortable ‒ they force us to sit with all of our shit and be vulnerable.

Moving away from traditional hierarchical structure means sitting with that discomfort. [Most people aren’t used to self-management](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-right-way-to-onboard/id1488554600?i=1000513946996) ‒ we’re used to being told what to do, by when, and who we need to “win over”. And, like relationships, we tend to use the validation of others as evidence that we’re enough.

## Sitting with your shit

So what happens when you have no boss to impress? No clear directives on what you *should* do?

You struggle ‒ everyone struggles. Because now it’s up to you to find the direction, to create the structures, and to get shit done.

And this is where that “you up?” text creeps in.

In chaos and struggle ‒ when you’re *in it* ‒ you want the discomfort to stop. And so we fall back to the only tools we know. And in many cases, that’s hierarchy.

We begin to re-create the same systems we fled from, the same ones we want to challenge. And it’s not because hierarchy is the ideal system, it’s because hierarchy is all we know.

## Exploring your options

In web3, we tend to think we’re on the cusp of something completely new (and in some ways we are). But everything we’re trying has ben done before ‒ just in a different context.

Someone once told me “the trick to crypto is mental models”.

But the real trick is finding the *right* mental models.

Once you’ve done that, you have a lens through which you can predict and anticipate challenges and solutions. You can draw on what’s already been tried, tested, and modified. And often that gets you a lot closer to the outcome you want.

***So before you go texting your ex, consider all of the other options on the market. There’s a damn good chance you’ll find something better.***

Some of my favorite content for developing non-hierarchical mental models:

* [Brave New Work podcast](https://www.bravenewwork.com/podcast)
* [Many Voices, One Song](https://www.sociocracyforall.org/many-voices-one-song/)
* [Who Decides Who Decides?](https://www.sociocracyforall.org/whodecides)
* [Resources from Sociocracy for All](https://www.sociocracyforall.org/content/)
* [What Co-ops and DAOs Can Learn from Each Other](https://www.fwb.help/wip/what-co-ops-and-daos-can-learn-from-each-other)

*Quick note: In this article, I use the term “hierarchy” as a shorthand for systems where general (not tightly scoped) power is distributed in a centralized, top-down manner. I recognize that this is not how others define hierarchy. Depending on how you define it, I think hierarchy can be useful in DAOs in some contexts. [Related: David Phelps on the difference between centralization and hierarchy.](https://twitter.com/divine_economy/status/1497681876508712966?s=20&t=gF8po1YmjcX8aEyEb6vrTg)*

Co-ownership as a web3 social primitive

A fundamental premise of web3 is [ownership](https://variant.fund/writing/the-ownership-economy-crypto-and-consumer-software). But ownership isn’t just a technical or financial shift, **it’s a shift in how we connect with one another**.

To fully leverage the power of a democratically owned web3, we need to understand what ownership means for us as humans. And more importantly ‒ we need to expand beyond our current views of ownership to redefine and reshape how we choose to collectively own the next generation of technologies.

## What is ownership?

**Our early understanding of ownership is based on a simple premise: control.** If you ask a 6 year old whether a person who is asleep or in a coma can own property, [there’s a reasonable chance they say no](https://minddevlab.yale.edu/sites/default/files/files/Children's%20and%20Adult's%20Intuitions%20about%20Who%20Can%20Own%20Things%20noles-et-al.pdf) ‒ if the person cannot assert their will over something (i.e., control it), they do not own it.

While control is a necessary part of ownership, ownership as an experience is made up of more than just control. To understand why, let’s talk about [why we (as humans) want to own things](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ownership_(psychology)#:\~:text=In%20psychology%2C%20ownership%20is%20the,actually%20conferred%20to%20the%20organization.):

1. Desire to control
2. Desire to belong
3. Desire to express our identity

![](https://images.mirror-media.xyz/publication-images/GfQWEcMxkJyLCpf_EfbSY.png?height=1500&width=3000)

As young children, the desire to control drives our desire to acquire ownership. But the desire to belong and the desire to express ourselves emerge as our social brains evolve. We begin to understand that ownership is more than control ‒ it becomes relational. Owning something becomes a way to belong, to self-identify, and to signal to others what we belong to and identify with. **And so, our sense of ownership becomes social.**

## Evolving beyond control

The way we think about ownership in web3 today is not unlike the way a child thinks about ownership: it’s about control. Governance tokens represent a unit of control over a protocol. **Yet, the act of simply giving someone ownership doesn’t inherently make them *feel* like an owner.**

Why?

**Because ownership is contextual, it’s relational, and it’s social.**

So if today ownership in web3 is about control, where are we going? What happens when we begin to fold identity and belonging into our notion of what ownership in web3 means?

## Ownership as a social primitive

The [popularity of pfp NFTs](https://learn.zapper.fi/articles/building-your-digital-identity-in-web3) hints at what’s to come. It’s likely that **web3 will usher in an entirely new wave of social experiences that haven’t been possible before.** Our identities and sense of belonging will be rooted in the things we own.

***But wait… this sounds like a lonely dystopia I don’t want to live in.***

Yes, your identity being defined by what you own sounds shitty and lonely. This is the way we currently think about web3 ‒ and it’s not going to work.

**Here’s the thing: ownership is lonely.** You can buy four Porsche convertibles and still feel lonely. It’s **collective ownership** that’s powerful.

At its core, ownership is vulnerable ‒ it’s personal. To co-own something is to have a connection with someone. And so while individual ownership is great, **collective ownership is the true social primitive in web3.**

Collective ownership allows us to feel heard (control), while also making us feel like we’re a part of something greater (belonging) in a way that helps us define who we are to ourselves and the world (identity).

## An evolution in human connection

Every technology creates a new way for people to connect. Web3 introduces ownership as the newest social primitive that allows people to go from internet strangers to co-owners. And with that shift, we broaden the landscape of art, communities, and p